Articles


 

Wedding Traditions And Folklore - Top

The wedding ceremony is one of the oldest rituals of unity in history, no matter what
religious or secular beliefs a couple has the end result of the ceremony is the joining of
two into one.

Martha and George washington in Janurary 6,1776 were wed and she wore a lavender
lace type fabric, shoes with two tongue like flaps across the top. She wore a gold
colored wedding dress. In those days ladies wore what ever colored dress that was
considered their best dress.

White still is the preference of modern brides for weddings and has been the
traditional color for centuries. In folklore it is the emblem of the brides
purity, simplicity, candor and innocence. The wearing of white was practiced by the
early Greeks who believed that white was a symbol of joy. The Greeks even painted
their bodies white on the evening of wedding ceremonies. Despite the long tradition of
the white wedding gown, it is not universal, there are many countries where colors are
the national choice.

Scots like to find any reason to make merry, they love to celebrate. Their weddings are
basically like American weddings. They usually start at 4:pm in the afternoon. The bride
usually wears a white victorian style dress. The bridegroom wears full highland dress or
day dress, that is a kilt and tweed jacket or day dress with gray topper and tails. The
average wedding has about three bridesmaids, a flower girl and kilted three year old
page boy. The page boy presents the bride with a lucky silver horse shoe as she leaves
the church with her new husband. There is usually a piper on hand at the end of the
wedding to lead the bride and groom from the church.

Another tradition practice by the Scottish, as the car moves away the groom may throw a pile of silver coins out of the window to waiting children who scramble to gather them up.

Jumping the broom is believed to have originated in Ghana. It was a ritual slaves
practiced in Africa it allowed the enslaved population to have some sense of self
respect when starting families. The broomed is waved above the heads of the couple as
if symbolically sweeping away evil spirits. After saying their vows they jump over the
broom. There are other explanations of the broom in other religions. The Africans were
not the only people to practice the ritual of broom jumping.

The Wiccan religion practice broom jumping, although their explanations are similar as far as sweeping
away evil or baneful spirits. The handle is considered masculine, while the brush or broom
part is considered feminine. The brooms also represent purification, protection, fertility and prosperity.

There are many other myths and associations with wicca and brooms. In Ireland, the
besom was sometime called "Faery Horse". In medieval times, the besom was equated
with marriages outside of the church. So it was recorded that weddings by the broom
were illegitmate. The broom became a symbol of sensuality, in which the slang word
besom was derived meaning "easy woman" this association by the church is said to
discourage marriage out side of the church. No matter where in the world people
live, couples have similar charataristics and motivation for marriage.

American Weddings With an African Theme - Top

Since ancient times the marriage remains the most cherished event in our society. For
centuries the traditional American ceremony was a the bride in a white gown with a
flowing train, and the groom in a traditional black tuxedo. That was the "look" that
African-American brides imitated.

More and more African American couples are opting to incorporate an African theme
into their wedding ceremony, because they have the desire to reclaim their heritage.

Some couples choose to add their own personal touches to the wedding ceremony.
Since there are African tribes with their own rituals and traditions they add what they
feel is right for them.

For instance one couple chose to make their own wedding invitations on the African
theme by hand, so with relatives help they added Kente cloth to one panel Kente
meaning (message). They left it up to each individual what type of clothing they would
wear to the wedding, some came in African garb and some came in regular dress.

Instead of traditional floral bouquets the brides maids carried black and gold fans.

Another Afrocentric flavor was the ceremony, a reading of the libation usually made at
Kwanza.The actual libation ceremony was performed in African tradition. A bonus was
the reading of the Lords prayer performed by a professional dance ensemble. At the
conclusion the couple "jumped the broom" which has different meanings. It is said to
ward off evil spirits, starting a new beginning, in some tribes it was thought that
marrying outside your own clan was taboo or evil. And some tribes had standing
ancestral fueds, and were constantly at war, therefore when a couple jumped over the
broom it declared a new beginning and forgave past wrongs, regardless of the origin.

The lost practice is emerging again and will continue to educate as well as
entertain and make a memorable occasion rich with heritage and alive with spirit!

Japanese Weddings - Top

Weddings in Japan are very expensive.But more and more the Japanese are opting for
a simpler less expensive wedding.About one per cent of Japanese are Christian,and
the Christians usually marry in a more western world tradition.

Shinto meaning the way of the Kami. Kami means "the way of the gods". To the
Japanese purity is very important, the earth and nature, water to them reflects endless
change and a renewal and freshness. A Shinto wedding is a ritual that takes place in a
Shrine,because purity is important to them, most important events are celebrated in
the Shrine. Only family members are allowed to attend the wedding..

The wedding attire for the bride is a white silk kimono which can cost up to twenty five
thousand dollars to purchase. The groom wears a haori at the top and a hakama at the
bottom in black. A Japanese bride can change up to five times into different
kimonos. The bride wears a wig as part of the tradition of the kimono wedding
dress. The wig is bouffant and very decorated and with artificial flowers, gold combs
and, maybe pearls.

The Bride and groom enter from different doors, drum and flute music are played. The
nakodo, the-go-between waves a sacred tree over the head of the couple to keep away
evil spirits and to symbolize purification. The tree is made of paper streamers. After the
vows the couple drinks a wine called sake,exchanging thier cups nine times to
symbolize their bonding.

At the reception the bride and groom sit at an elevated table and are applauded by the
guest. This is when the wedding march is played. The dinner for the reception is very
expensive so the guess bring money, new money not wrinkled old money. It is given to
the couple in a special envelope to help pay for the dinner which can run one hundred
dollars or more a plate. The master of ceremonies discusses the background of the couple
and wish them well. Other friends and families give speeches. The wedding cake is cut
with brides hand resting on the grooms hand to signify thier first act together as
husband and wife. A toast is given to the couple then the bride changes into a
traditional western white wedding gown. The groom also changes into western
clothing. The couple stand under a paper umbrella over their heads which signifies they
are lovers.

The newlyweds face the guest and light a single high candle on the center table which
is symbolic for their unity in marriage. At the end of the evening the couple gives the
mothers a bouquet of flowers and the fathers a carnation for the lape, as a thank you
gesture. The grooms father gives thanks to all who attended and then the couple leaves
on thier honeymoon.


A Hindu Wedding - North Indian Style - Top

The marriage ceremony called Vivaha in Sanskrit, is 5000 years old Vivaha means "that which
carries us along." The marriage is a sacred bond between man and woman and not entered into
lightly. The marriage is meant to carry the couple along the path of Dharma, or
righteousness.Each act of the ceremony is traditionally performed in Sanskrit, but can also be
performed in English.

The Wedding

Mangala Vadyam

The wedding day begins with Mangala Vadyam, or rhe playing of the auspicious Shenai, a
trumpet-like intstrument.

Milanam

The bride’s family greets the groom.He receives the red tilaka (red powder) mark on his
forhead signifying the Lord’s blessing upon him.He is led to the mandapam, or canopy under
which the ceremony will take place.

Kanya Gamanam/Jaya Mala

The bride hidden behind a curtain, is escorted to the mandapam..The priest will lower the
curtain and the bride and groom will shower each other withj rice.The rice represents
prosperity, but is also to establish dominance in the marriage. The person who throws the rice
first, will be the most authorative in the marriage.The bride and groom exchange flower garlands
signifying their acceptance for each other.

Ganesha Puja

The wedding ceremony begins with worship of Shri Ganesha, the remover of all obstacles and
provider of good luck.All traditional hindu ceremonies begin with invocation of Ganesha Other
pujas are also performed evoking the presence of other forms of God to preside over the
wedding ceremony.

Kanya Danam

Kanyan Danam literally means the "charity of the bride". In this ceremony the bride is officially
given away to the groom. The groom gracefully accepts.

Vivaha Homam

The great messenger of the Gods,Agniveda the fire God, is evoked to witness the
proceedings.The priest lights a sacred fire in the presence of the bride and groom.

Throughout the ceremony,the bride groom and the priest add ghee ,clarified butter to the fire to
keep it burning .Rice and other ingredients are added to the fire at various times.

Pani Grahanam

The bride and groom hold hands as a symbol of their union.

Sindura Danam

The groom places a special red powder between the parting of the brides hair.This red line
identifies the bride as a married woman.The groom also gives the bride mangala sutra

.a necklace made of gold and onyx,which also identifies her as a married woman. The mangala
sutra is the equivalent of the wedding ring.

Granthi Bandhanam

The bride and groom exchange seats, as a married woman is given a place of honor at her

husbands left side.One corner of groom’s shawl is tied to the end of the bride’s sari.This
symbolizes the union of two souls.

Aajya Homam

The groom places offerings of ghee into the sacred fire, asking for the protection of his wife.

Ashma Kramana/Laaja Homam

The bride places her right foot onto a stone, and with the assistance of her brothersmakews
offerings of puffed rice into the sacred fire, asking for the protection of her husband. The stone
symbolizes earth. The act of placing the bride’s foot upon the stone means that dhe should
become strong and fixed like the earth.

Druva Darshana

The bride and groom gaze up at the pole star(druva) and mediate on stability in the marriage
union. Each night as the stars rotste in the sky the pole star always remains fixed.

In the same way as life is constantly changing the union of the bride and groom and should
remain fixed like the pole star, druva.

Pradakshinam

The bride and groom walk around the holy fire four times, symbolizing the walk of life. Human
life is seen to have four great goals called purusharthas, dharma, artha, kama ans moksha. The
bride leads the groom through the first three rounds while the grioomleads the bride through the
last round. The first round represents the attainment of dharma, or rigteous conduct and the
fulfillment of civic and religious responsibilities. The second round is for the attainment of artha,
the accumulation of wealth and prosperity . This leads to the third round which is for the
attainment of kama, lifes enjoyments. Finally, the bride and groom exchange places and the
groom leads the bride around the fire the fourth round enacting the attainment of moksha, lifes
spiritual values.

Saptapadi

The bride and groom take seven steps together, symbolizing the beginning of their journey

through life as partners. These seven steps reflect their guiding principles in life as they take
each step, the bride and groom exchange the following vows:

Together we will:

Share in the responsibility of the home

Fill our heart with strength and courage

Prosper and share our worldly goods

Fill our hearts with love, peace, happiness, and spiritual values

Be blessed with loving children

Attain self-restraint and longevity

Be best friends and eternal partners

Upon the completion of these seven steps, the bride and groom are officially considered
husband and wife.

Purusha Sukta Homan

The priest chants an ancient hymn of praise to god while the couple places offerings of rice and
ghee into the fire. This act of worship is the couple’s first act of dharma as husband and wife.

Prasadam

The newly married couple feed each other sweets representing their first meal together.

Purnaahuti

This is the final offering to God before concluding the wedding ceremony.

Aashirvaad

The priest gives blessings to the couple. The newly married couple then seeks the blessings of
the priest, family and friends. The family and friends bestow their blessings by showering them
with flower petals.

Interfaith Marriage - Top

Marriage is difficult enough with two people of the same religious beliefs,but when you decide to have an interfaith marriage you are taking on a challenging journey, unless you have
done a lot of premarital planning. To make the commitment to marry interfaith you have a strong
desire to entwine the two faiths and commit, your heart minds, and souls to one another. In
which you will be teaching each other to grow strong in God and giving each other
encouragement.

Some of the pre-planning should be, examing family backgrounds, as well as the question "why do
you want to marry each other?" Because of different cultures and traditions, how will you raise the
children? Which faith will they be raised in? How will you worship after marriage? In whose
faith? Are the families accepting of the marriage? These questions should not be avoided but
broached immediatley.

Your challenge of living with contradictory beliefs daily can be broken down, and you can show
family and friends you can have a successful interfaith marriage, but you have to communicate
constantly with each other openly.

Here is a check list taken from ‘Celebrating our differences Living Two Faiths In One
Marriage." By Mary Helene Rosenblum

Think Again Checklist

  1. You secretly hope one day he/she will convert.
  2. You feel contempt for anyone who could believe that guff(your partners religion)
  3. You tell yourself he/she is not as bad as most of them.
  4. You think raising your kid will take care of itself or you won’t have any.
  5. You think what your parents think does not matter.
  6. You feel religion does not matter to you.-and never will
  7. You think what society thinks does not matter
  8. To talk about religion evokes, boredom, embarrassment, anger.

There are different ways you can preform the ceremony. Balance the two traditions ,have two
ceremonies ,have a neutral,or civil ceremony. Or choose just one of the religious traditions.

Start looking early if you plan to have a balanced interfaith marriage. If one person is Jewish and
one is Christian, you may have a problem getting a rabbi to officiate. The Orthodox and
conservative rabbis usually never officiate at weddings. The reform or reconstructionist rabbis
are more apt to preform interfaith marriages with some conditions which can be, the children be
raised Jew, and he is the only rabbi officiating.

The rabbis who do not officiate at an interfaith marriage usually will refer you to rabbis who
do. In metropolitan areas usually there are rabbis and christian clergy who support interfaith marriages. Taking the time to seek them out will be worth it. You want to balance the ceremony embracing each religion so the families will not be offended, or feel one of the religions came up short during the ceremony.

If you cannot find a clergy to officiate your interfaith marriage you can have two separate
ceremonies, one legally binding, and the other a blessing at the reception site. This can be a way
of making the families feel included and respected.

You can choose to have a non-denominationl wedding in a Unitarian Universalist Church where
they embrace interfaith religions, there you can have a nuetral ceremony. If the traditional
ceremonies pose too much of a difficulty you can get married in a civil ceremony and have the
justice of the peace incorporate some type of religious ritual from either religion, you will not
have pomp and circumstance in this type of service.

Premarital counseling is key when embarking on an interfaith marriage, contact interfaith
marriage groups, couples who have been married for quite awhile with children, so you can get
advice and an insight on the difficult decisions you may have to make down the road. Interfaith
couples can help you on your way to a richer fuller life together for the years ahead.

No matter what ritual,or tradition you use in your wedding ceremony they enrich our lives and
bring more meaning to what you believe in and it is a way of getting in touch with what is
important to us.

Let Them Throw Cake! - Top

by Kitty Ariza

August 3, 2000

Wheat, grains, nuts, and rice thrown at the bride and groom, has always been a source of good
luck to the couple. It meant, fertility, prosperity and they would always have abundance. We were always taught as kids, to never throw our food, but maybe because this was a trait from ancesterial customs, we did it naturally, it was in our genes.

Being an inventor of a wedding product, I had to do research of wedding customs and rituals.
The product is made from one of man's most primitive tools, ropes and knots. I searched
different wedding traditions, and one of the strangest and funniest is the wedding cake tradition.

The English ritual was to break cakes over the bride and grooms heads (OUCH!), as they left
the church. This got pretty messy so they started throwing rice. This custom is being lost in
antiquity because it is considered littering today, and it would harm the birds that ate it. They
would swell up after drinking water.

It wasn't until the 17th century that the wedding cakes were actually stacked and iced. It was by
happenstance that this started, because folklore has it that a French chef traveling in England
assembled the cakes this way to make them easier to transport, "voila " a stacked wedding cake
was born.




 

 

The Nuptial Knot® Copyright © 1998-2009, All rights reserved